Advice & Critique: How to listen when it's not what you want to hear

In The Actors Guide To Everything, under REPRESENTATION, we write that a manager "advises clients on career choices, grooms them for the industry with guidance on new headshots, resumes, classes, type choices, etc., and personally advises every step of their business, which includes some aspects of life coaching."

Presumably actors know this - and want this - when they are seeking a personal manager, or other form of representation. Yet I can't tell you how many times I have met with an actor for the first time - for our "interview" - and started to tell them something they didn't want to hear - that I was unable to represent them, or that they needed to get new pictures, or ... well, you get the idea - and watched them "tune out" I can watch it happen before my eyes: their eyes glaze over, they nod like they are listening but I can tell they just want to get out of my office as soon as they can.

Actors frequently come into my office thinking I am going to be amazed at how talented, professional and on top of things they are, and they seem to think I will simply agree to represent them with no advice to offer. When they hear my suggestions, they look stunned and uncomfortable. I wonder how well they take direction on stage or on screen. I wonder what is going to happen if we decide to work together and we encounter a crisis -- how can I help someone who can't listen to my advice, or accept anything they feel is critical of them?

A happy life & career require personal growth, and understanding criticism is essential to personal growth. Criticism is everywhere, so use it to your advantage.

Here are some simple steps to deal with criticism: Hear it, evaluate it, learn from it and take action.

Hear the criticism: Just listen. Resist the urge to justify, excuse or defend yourself. If you're not ready to analyze the critique, analyze it later.

Evaluate the criticism: Does this criticism apply to you? Is the critic speaking truth or is he/she off the mark? If you are unsure if the critique is true, ask someone close to you, who you trust.

Learn from it: If the criticism is justified, you have been made aware of something you need to adjust, change or do. Accept this knowledge.

Take action: Once you have figured out what action you should take, do it. This is a typical time for procrastination, but make the choice to make the changes instead.

This process of "dealing" with criticism will be a tremendous advantage to you as an actor.

If you need more tantalizing information on receiving criticism, check out Bob's Corner!