Why You Need to Keep Growing as an Actor - by Robert Curtiss

“I'm too old to start now.” “It's too late for me.” “I'm too old to change.” How many times have you heard someone say these things? Have you ever said them yourself?

It’s sad how often we repeat these beliefs as if they are the unquestioned truth. The more we say something, the more we come to believe it is true. These beliefs limit us. When you say these things—when you really believe these things—it means you've stopped adapting to the world around you. It means you're stuck in the past and not adapting in the here-and-now. It is not a healthy mindset. I am often struck by how many people talk about dealing with their problems, yet they don't actually deal with them at all. They shun the idea of therapy by saying, “I can handle my own problems” or “I'm too old to change,” but they don't truly deal with their problems by talking about them. They don’t try to change their problematic behaviors and instead keep repeating the behaviors that cause the problems!

Older people also use the phrase “In my day” as a way to make the present inferior to the way “it used to be.” However, they use it as a way to excuse their non-participation in the present. Think about it—is today not your day?? Are you too old to learn something?? Of course not!

Sometimes we get complacent, and trying something different feels scary. However, remember that a flower in a small pot can only grow so far. An actor in Wichita, for example, who stays in Wichita, will only go as far as is possible in Wichita. That is fine for some people—being the big fish in the little pond can be satisfying. However, if you want to achieve greater things, you need to grow, to push your limits.

We all must keep growing until we die. It is the nature of all living things. It is never too late to start something that can enhance your life—be it piano lessons, or therapy, or quitting smoking.

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3 Steps to Getting Out of Your Own Way

“If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.”  

This is one of my favorite slogans, and it really is true. There is a famous saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Think about it. Human beings are creatures of habit, and even though we may be unhappy in our particular circumstances and say we want something different, we are usually more comfortable with our familiar habits in our familiar surroundings, however miserable they may be, than we are about changing any of those same habits and surroundings!

It takes strength and determination, and insight into our own behavior, to actually change what is holding us back. Here is a helpful series of steps to guide you.

Step 1: Identify what it is you want that you are not getting. This is the easiest part!

Step 2: Recognize which patterns of your behavior may be impeding you from attaining your goal. Ask yourself: What do I do that sabotages myself from achieving what I want? As a simple example, let’s say it is consistently sleeping late, or procrastinating.

Step 3: Modify the problematic behavior. Sometimes the issue just needs a simple modification that you can do on your own (for the above examples, you could go to bed earlier and buy an alarm clock, or you could make a schedule to complete tasks and avoid procrastination), and sometimes the issue is more deeply ingrained in your psyche so that you may require additional assistance from family and friends, and perhaps from a psychotherapist, who is trained to help you with these kinds of challenges.

You have the power to get out of your own way and change your life! Good luck on your journey!

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Advice & Critique: How to listen when it's not what you want to hear

In The Actors Guide To Everything, under REPRESENTATION, we write that a manager "advises clients on career choices, grooms them for the industry with guidance on new headshots, resumes, classes, type choices, etc., and personally advises every step of their business, which includes some aspects of life coaching."

Presumably actors know this - and want this - when they are seeking a personal manager, or other form of representation. Yet I can't tell you how many times I have met with an actor for the first time - for our "interview" - and started to tell them something they didn't want to hear - that I was unable to represent them, or that they needed to get new pictures, or ... well, you get the idea - and watched them "tune out" I can watch it happen before my eyes: their eyes glaze over, they nod like they are listening but I can tell they just want to get out of my office as soon as they can.

Actors frequently come into my office thinking I am going to be amazed at how talented, professional and on top of things they are, and they seem to think I will simply agree to represent them with no advice to offer. When they hear my suggestions, they look stunned and uncomfortable. I wonder how well they take direction on stage or on screen. I wonder what is going to happen if we decide to work together and we encounter a crisis -- how can I help someone who can't listen to my advice, or accept anything they feel is critical of them?

A happy life & career require personal growth, and understanding criticism is essential to personal growth. Criticism is everywhere, so use it to your advantage.

Here are some simple steps to deal with criticism: Hear it, evaluate it, learn from it and take action.

Hear the criticism: Just listen. Resist the urge to justify, excuse or defend yourself. If you're not ready to analyze the critique, analyze it later.

Evaluate the criticism: Does this criticism apply to you? Is the critic speaking truth or is he/she off the mark? If you are unsure if the critique is true, ask someone close to you, who you trust.

Learn from it: If the criticism is justified, you have been made aware of something you need to adjust, change or do. Accept this knowledge.

Take action: Once you have figured out what action you should take, do it. This is a typical time for procrastination, but make the choice to make the changes instead.

This process of "dealing" with criticism will be a tremendous advantage to you as an actor.

If you need more tantalizing information on receiving criticism, check out Bob's Corner!