I Hate My Day Job But Need The Money, What Should I Do? -by Robert Curtiss

If you are an actor, chances are you also have a support job to bring in income while you pursue the business of show business (unless you are independently wealthy or have reached that enviable point in your acting career where you can survive solely on your earnings as an actor). Sometimes this means working at a job that you don’t like only because you need the money.

Most of us have, at one time or another, worked at a job that we did not like. Sometimes the boss seems stingy, or the coworkers are mean, or the pay is too low for the amount of work required, or we just don’t like the work itself. Here are some thoughts on dealing with this problem. Ask yourself the following questions:

What is it I don't like about this job? 

Is the thing I hate about this job fixable?

Would it be worth staying at the job if I could fix the problem?

Let's break it down:

What is it that you don't like about your job? Is it a personnel matter, i.e. you have a problem with people you work with, like the boss or a coworker? If so, possible solutions include asking for a private meeting with the person or persons, in which you make an effort to find out what they are thinking, and to make your feelings known. This can clear the air, and get the unspoken issues out in the open, with the hope that all those involved can adjust their behaviors accordingly. Remember to be professional and try to be respectful, because being disrespectful and angry will very likely sabotage any potential progress. Sometimes your coworkers and supervisors have no idea that their words or behaviors have upset you, and simply making them aware of your thoughts and feelings can be enough to bring them around.

Is the thing you hate about the job fixable? If your coworkers or your boss still make you miserable, or you can't seem to find a way around the thing you dislike, then it probably is time to look for employment elsewhere.

If you dislike the work itself, the best thing to do is to figure out what you would prefer to do, and then look for a job where you can do that instead. Sometimes this is simply looking at what jobs you can find, and then choosing the best out of the bunch (we can't always find the perfect job right away). In the meantime, since you need to keep your job until you can find another, try to make the best of it, and to take the path of least resistance. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to argue with people when you already know you can't win. Try just agreeing with them, and letting the conflicts just roll off your back, knowing that you will soon be gone from the unpleasant situation as soon as you can.

Remember ... communicate effectively. Use your friends and family as support systems & to help get the word out when looking for a new job.

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3 Steps to Getting Out of Your Own Way

“If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.”  

This is one of my favorite slogans, and it really is true. There is a famous saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Think about it. Human beings are creatures of habit, and even though we may be unhappy in our particular circumstances and say we want something different, we are usually more comfortable with our familiar habits in our familiar surroundings, however miserable they may be, than we are about changing any of those same habits and surroundings!

It takes strength and determination, and insight into our own behavior, to actually change what is holding us back. Here is a helpful series of steps to guide you.

Step 1: Identify what it is you want that you are not getting. This is the easiest part!

Step 2: Recognize which patterns of your behavior may be impeding you from attaining your goal. Ask yourself: What do I do that sabotages myself from achieving what I want? As a simple example, let’s say it is consistently sleeping late, or procrastinating.

Step 3: Modify the problematic behavior. Sometimes the issue just needs a simple modification that you can do on your own (for the above examples, you could go to bed earlier and buy an alarm clock, or you could make a schedule to complete tasks and avoid procrastination), and sometimes the issue is more deeply ingrained in your psyche so that you may require additional assistance from family and friends, and perhaps from a psychotherapist, who is trained to help you with these kinds of challenges.

You have the power to get out of your own way and change your life! Good luck on your journey!

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How Acting Affects Self Esteem - by Robert Curtiss

The theater teaches us to collaborate, to feel comfortable speaking in front of others, and to be able to take direction. It gives us a forum in which to express ourselves, and it makes us think and feel, as performers and as an audience.

We tend to be drawn to it at an early age. Many remember their first introduction to the theater, whether it be a play seen or performed in elementary school or watching a parent or older sibling perform. It is a socially accepted way to fulfill the need for attention and approval, and I think most would agree that the sound of applause is thrilling, empowering, and sometimes addicting.

That said, the theater also tends to attract people with great needs, who try to use it to validate themselves, and are tremendously insecure as a result. They audition and take every job they don't get as a personal rejection and a comment on who they are. They sabotage themselves in their search for a career and find excuses not to attend another audition because they cannot face another rejection. Needy people frequently do not get cast because their "need" for the job is so obvious, and no one wants to have someone that needy to worry about. After all, needy people aren't truly behaving like professionals, because they have an ulterior motive. They need to hear approval constantly and crave attention. Hiring a needy person is akin to getting a job as a babysitter for a demanding child.

Acting, or any performing, also can confuse those with a fragile self-esteem. All too often performers confuse their performances and talent with their identity. They are what they do. They hear that they are talented, and when they are performing they are told they are wonderful. It is understandable that they are confused!

When people who need validation and attention pursue this career in show business, frequently become bitter and resentful that they have to convince people to like them, to hire them, etc. Thus, they sabotage themselves precisely for the same reason they chose this career in the first place!

If I seem a bit harsh, it is only to paint a stark picture of the psychological makeup of many performers. Most performers have some feelings of insecurity about their place in the business. It is a business without much security.

It may be useful to ask yourself how this might apply to your life. Why are you in this business, and are you "too needy"? If the answer is yes, don't be discouraged. This is where some good psychotherapy can help, to build your self-esteem, to learn skills to turn down that needy "voice" in your mind that constantly craves attention, and to help you differentiate between your own identity and your "performing self."

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